I was having trouble thinking of what to write about this week until today (Sunday). Andy was driving me, my parents, and Lily back from a Fall festival earlier when he took a corner a little too sharp and ran over a gigantic curb. When the car landed back on the ground I felt the most intense pain shooting up the right side of my belly and back. It was so strong that I was instantly brought to tears. Not little tears, this was full blown bawling. Not only was I in a lot of pain but I was TERRIFIED. I was holding onto my belly just sobbing. Which was followed by my sweet little girl crying yelling “mommy okay? mommy okay?”. We pulled over into a parking lot so I could get out and walk around. The pain in my belly had faded a bit but my pubic bone and back were radiating pain.
After I calmed down a little I started thinking about what had just happened. The pain was terrible but the chance of a non-belly impact jolt causing any real harm to the baby seemed really small. I leaned on my side (the position the baby moves most in) and after almost 5 minutes he still hadn’t moved. My family urged me to call my doctor. I couldn’t get ahold of him right away but my doula, Alexa, answered. She reassured me it was probably all fine but to get in touch with the doctor or go to the hospital if I was nervous. I wasn’t leaking fluid or bleeding so we decided to go home so I could rest and try to get baby boy moving. Eventually, I heard from the OBGYN who also reassured me that everything was probably fine if I wasn’t having any other symptoms. He told me to make sure the baby is moving and to come into the hospital if the pain got worse or I didn’t feel him moving soon.
You guys, it took over AN HOUR. I tried the cold, sweet drink trick to get him to move. Then I tried different positions, I tried laying still, sitting up, walking, and bending over. Nothing. It was the longest two hours of my life. Luckily, after way too long, I felt a tiny flutter. And then another. It was truly one of the best feelings I have ever experienced in my life. He didn’t start moving much until later in the day, but I knew he was still okay in there and that was all I needed to calm down. It’s 10:30 pm right now and I am still in some pain but I do think everything will be fine. I’m going to see my OBGYN on Tuesday morning, so I will have him do a quick ultrasound to make sure everything is still looking fine.
I have been in a bit of a daze all day. I just can’t help thinking about how different this situation could have turned out. How many other women have been in accidents with much different outcomes. How quickly something you love with every ounce of you can be taken away. I’ve been thinking most, though, about how strong a mother’s love for her child is. Usually, you would grab for your body parts that ache after an accident but I instinctually went straight to my babies. There is nothing more important to me than protecting my children and what I wanted more than anything else to make sure he was okay. Even though I logically knew everything was probably fine, it was absolutely excruciating waiting to feel those little kicks. I sit here tonight feeling like a very very lucky mama who is holding onto both of my babies very tight. I am a little more thankful than ever before.